i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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