just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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