oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
