Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
