Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
