Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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