At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Sext me about skeletons
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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