dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
