what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
