Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
