Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
