I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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