so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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