Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Randomize
