I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
