did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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