3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
He is an equal opportunity slut.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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