Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
