So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
How external is "for external use only"?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
