First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
