He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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