Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
she told me i tasted like america
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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