when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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