I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize