She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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