I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
