STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
