would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
