quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
