so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
you made out with another girl for some wings
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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