god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
