You can't special order awesome
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
