Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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