I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
