what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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