Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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