is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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