he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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