Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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