Got a toothbrush?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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