apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
