Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
