I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
