he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
