He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I did not marry a roomba.
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