I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
