I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
