Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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