I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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