Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
