Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
