3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
