i would punch a child for taco bell
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
